2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
[满分范文]
Dear Ms. Jenkins，
①I'm Li Hua and I plan to take a part－time job in a foreign capital company during the summer holiday. ②I have already filled in the application form and had my resume ready for it. ③However, I'm not sure about the words and format. ④Therefore, I'm writing to ask for your help and professional advice. ⑤Would you please spare some time to read through the materials attached?⑥Would you mind finding out the mistakes in terms of words and format? ⑦Besides, I'd like you to correct the mistakes found in the materials. ⑧I'd be most grateful if you could do me a favor.
⑨I'm looking forward to your reply.
Yours，
Li Hua
[阅卷评析]
③表示转折关系的过渡词，把前两句看似平淡的叙述提到了一定的高度，很好地为下句做了铺垫。
④therefore关系明确，因果适当，不但使上下文融会贯通，而且突出了写信目的。
⑤Would you please do...？是请求别人帮助的句型，用得恰到好处，符合说话者的身份；过去分词attached作定语，使句子更加简练地道，增加了文章的可读性。
⑥Would you mind doing...？不同的句式表达了相同的意思，避免了表达形式的单一化，语气委婉。
⑧这是文章提档次的句子。most grateful道出了作者希望得到帮助的迫切和感激之情，也显示了作者较高的语言运用能力。
